I hate people (sort of)

Being a twenty-something is full of all sorts of annoying social obligations. Like other people's weddings, babyshowers, housewarmings, Tupperware parties, etc. I mean, I like a good social interaction, but the problem is, I also get kind of frustrated with other people easily. Herein lies the porblem.

Social engagements on the whole are awesome. I have lots of friends, and they like lots of different things, and so each friend kind of supplies me with a particular kind of social satisfaction.

I have my gang of traditionally geeky friends - they love science fiction and fantasy, and with them I can go to things like Harry Potter fancy dress parties, Torchwood marathons, IMAX screenings of Star Trek and, the nerdy pilgrimage to pop culture conventions. It's great. When things are getting too geeky for my tastes (anything to do with WOW or Dungeons and Dragons pretty much sends me packing, and there's no way I want to get into a debate about whether it's plausible that Chekov would have been left in charge of the bridge at his age in the latest Trek film), I can bow out. I don't need to live and breathe that life.

There are other pockets of friends: the study-buddy, the work mates, the ones who will go to things like the Burlesque Festival or Roller Derby with me, the ones who will go to the theatre with me, the ones I can always count on to go to the pub, the ones I can confess my shopping sins to without fear or judgement or reprimand, the ones who I can sit next to on the couch while looking like mice are nesting in my hair, playing FarmVille and talking about our bowel movements. My friendship landscape is like a puzzle, and all the pieces fit together nicely. Most of the time.

Cue the annoying social obligation. You're asked to be a bridesmaid in a friends wedding. You're contacted to be part of the team organising a buddy's babyshower. You receive an invitation to a Tupperware party for your brother's girlfriend. You know why these things suck for me? I have to deal with people outside my friendship puzzle. They don't fit with my pieces, dammit! There's always someone involved who just rubs you the wrong way. I've had to cope with frustrating sisters of the bride, whiny and selfish and jealous, making every fucking decision from nailpolish to shoe style to who walks down the aisle first a fucking UN moderated negotiation. When the bride needs two people to hold up her dress so she can pee at the reception, whiny sister is nowhere to be found. Or, the annoyingly shrill girlfriend of your brother, who gave you a bizarre and smelly candle for Christmas, while you tried to thoughtfully select the most appropriate gift package from the Body Shop to suit her, who now wants you to come along to her sister's Tupperware party so you can feel pressured into ordering $150 worth of cake boxes and collapsable egg poachers. These people are RUINING my puzzle! I get nothing from these social interactions but annoyance, and sometimes murderous rage. What are they getting out of me? Apparently, $150, and the opportunity to sit at the bar double fisting the house white instead of helping their dear sister squeeze her lemon.

Currently, this is manifesting itself in the form of the babyshower organisation...a very good girlfriend of mine is spawning in early July, and I immediately offered to throw her a shower as soon as I found out she was baking babies. My motivation was thus:

- I like organising things
- I like parties
- I like babies
- I like my friend
- If I take initiative, then I won't have to collaborate with anyone else

I should have known this dream could not last.

In the last two months, I have begun to be plagued by emails and phone calls from women at my friends (lets call her S) local church. They have found out that I am planning the baby shower, and now they want to be part of the action. I find this ANNOYING. I've been S's friend for around 6 years, and these people have known her for about a year, so I would consider that I have a better grasp on what S may like for her baby shower (plus, I asked her outright) than they do. This has not stopped them from attempting to take over and completely butcher my party plan. I'm tired of having to argue about why I have decided to hand make invitations (it's actually not that hard and store bought invites are ugly). I'm sick of explaining why I don't think it's too much trouble to make home made cupcakes. I don't want to hear yet another lecture about how they have families to look after, and they don't have time to do all of these fancy things, and it might be okay for an unmarried person such as myself to do these things but it's really unfair to expect it of others.

*angry flailing*

If these women had not insisted on involving themselves, they could have just turned up to the party as guests, having received my home made invitation, and eaten my home made cupcakes without it ever having required any one of them to lift a finger! I'm not asking them to re-create High Tea at teh Windsor! It's a few fucking cupcakes and a mail merge in Word! I wanted to do it myself ANYWAY!!!!!

I'd love to tell them all to piss off and stop interfering, but I don't want to cause an awkward incident for S to have to deal with. Good lord, she's going to have a screaming baby on her hands soon enough, surely that's plenty. But this is a good example of why I kind of hate people sometimes. I don't like having to interact with people I haven't explicitly chosen to, unless I'm getting paid to do it in the workplace. I just have too low a tolerance. The solution this time has been to blame an existing illness and bow out of the proceedings entirely, letting them take control of the whole thing and do what they want.

Ahhh, rant over. It feels good to get that out.